Ever since I can remember they said that I am too sensitive. Emotional reactions to images of suffering are painfully intense and long-lasting. Likewise, joyful events such as weddings or the birth of a newborn will cause outward tears while inward I am experiencing deep un-named emotions that are beyond expectation.
Unfortunately, there are times I have embarrassed myself because I cannot predict nor control my response to what may come. Consequently, I have concluded Earth is a place of purgatory. Where the abundance of images of animal cruelty, starving children, grieving parents, refugees huddled together leave me in a perpetual state of trauma. The daily realization that I cannot end something so pervasive as the evil that is inherent to humanity fills me with hopelessness.
Within my fractured mind were chaotic emotions that became small particles of nothingness. The heaviness of spirit became weightless and buoyant as if I returned to the warmth of my mother’s womb. Purposely, I surrendered my dreams to float in the shifting winds without the care of a destination. My only remaining thought is that they should never come down.