My life became void of routine and responsibility, three years ago, after early retirement. Often, I stay awake at night and sleep during the day, eat breakfast at three in the afternoon and dinner at midnight. Most often, I do not know the day of the week or the time of day, what useful purpose would I have for such knowledge?
Having developed a dire need to keep myself occupied, the idea of taking a moment to breathe is contrary to my current constitution. There is always something to do even if that something is cleaning the floor cleaned yesterday.
Consistently, my thoughts will turn to matters of the heart if I sit still too long, causing my emotions to become chaotic and depressive. Thereafter, my sense of self becomes depleted and hungers for the conversation and companionship that was lost after moving away from my hometown.
Unfortunately, Merced is not conducive to forming friendships. Believing in the idiom, “Birds of a feather flock together,” I am a rare bird.