There is not a way to enjoy the moment when you are perceiving the moment as an activist, “slightly mad by some injustice, some cruelty, some unfairness.” The moment, as perceived, lacks the cohesive logic necessary to elicit a favorable emotion such as enjoyment may be considered.
The move from Santa Barbara a city known for its inherent beauty, the abundance of Grand Oak Trees, and Eucalyptus Groves, to the depressive city of Merced, void of stimulating color and culture, was a difficult adjustment, but one of necessity. Therefore, when I discovered the local park and from afar saw the majestic Grove of Eucalyptus Trees, I was overjoyed. I felt like I had found a hidden treasure of splendor.
However, to my horror was proven the idiom, don’t judge a book by its cover.
Subsequently, my attempts to call attention to the inevitable demise of all the trees have been for not. Over these months that have followed, I’ve chronicled the progressive disaster feeling like a lone witness to the destruction and demise as one after another tree is felled by its circumstance.
Yesterday, my dogs and I went to the park where they ran about the grass and I, as usual, went to the bank’s edge. One of the trees I had been watching was now in large sections that without order lay on the ground as if of no real matter. Choking on bits of loss, I looked down along the bank and to the survivors.
“You have to enjoy the moment while it lasts,” I said. What a ridiculous attempt to divert my emotions, to perceive what was surrounding me as anything other than what it was? How is that possible or why was it not possible for me? Why can I not enjoy these trees while they last? I grieve over what is to come rather than be grateful for the present moment they are here. Questions of mine like these will grow a life of their own. I am like a passenger who will benefit when the pondering ends.
Today I had an epiphany with a clarity that can answer my questions. I started to write but I couldn’t find the words to sum it up until two words came to mind and the idea of cohesive logic was born or so I thought. After a quick search, I was asking how it was possible for me to use a term as old and philosophical as cohesive logic? With what reasoning did I choose these two words? So now that I’ve answered my questions that without the feeling of cohesiveness with the logical conclusion that the trees are doomed, I shall go on with the what is it about cohesive logic.