Letter To My Daughter

I liked Mom boss’s video. When the little boy says, I love you, mommy, tears welled up in my eyes. The pain I use to torture myself with started playing my baggage tape that tells me I failed at being a mom, that have by divorcing your father I ruined all our lives. After beating myself up, I felt like I had drowned¬†In a pool of sorrow.

I have been creating a video for myself. It chronicles my life up until presently. I have gone through hundreds of photos choosing which I want to use. The photographs showed the period when it was Jake and me. Then four years later you arrived in my life, and I felt complete,

Always smiling and joyful with the two of you, anyone could see how happy I was to be a mother. I was so proud of you two and loved being your mom. You both are happy and smiling, too, and one can tell you are loved. Perhaps I have not given value to those years. In that time before the divorce, I was a great mom; caring and loving. I feel like I want you to validate my assertions. But, I do not need your validation as perception is a personal experience.

Therefore, it is what I perceive to have been that matters. However, I hope you do remember that time and think of me as a good mother. The fact that you grew into a strong, determined, self-sufficient, intelligent woman is proof that some of me was installed and remains in you. 

I love you, Emily Esther.

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