Too Soon to Lose

Too Soon to Lose

God, why did you take mom so soon before spring flowers had chance to bloom? My spirit voided the moment mom did depart, like a vacant room thus, became my grieving heart.

It was in the early morn when mom did phone to say she was suffering pain in every bone. Have you seen a doctor? I heard myself ask. No, came mom’s reply with a short gasp. When we arrived, the hospital emergency room was packed with people seeking attention for this and that.

In the waiting room, we settled and silently sat. Mom shifted, moaned, shifted, groaned. After tests, for hours in that place on that day, my mind was tormented by thoughts of what someone might come to say.

My eyes fixed on the doctor that had approached. Mom and I rose as he cleared his throat. Though, exhausted from worrying concern. I listened as my nightmare he did confirm. Terminal Lung Cancer was mom’s fate, within six months the doctor estimated death’s date.

Mom came to my home over those remaining days. While time passed at its natural pace, I chased every failing minute with hate and haste.

My mind swelled with dread when new tests showed throughout mom’s body cancer had spread. When in the thirteenth week. I surely knew what need not aloud be said. The time had come to surrender mom to a hospital bed.

God, why did you take mom so soon before spring flowers had chance to bloom? My spirit voided the moment mom did depart, like a vacant room thus, became my grieving heart.

Through a large window in mom’s new room way up high, I viewed a swath of Purple across the wide-open sky. It was the Jacaranda blossoms an annual treat presenting more bitter than beautiful than sweet.

Deprived of oxygen, mom became unaware of what would come for me to bare. Across her chest, I lay my head with tears forming sentiments left unsaid. Then, the day after Mother’s Day of all the days that be, mom’s heart ceased to beat.

Years later, decades even still I crave and I cry; I want my mom. If I knew how profound mom’s presence I would miss, I would have given mom a memorable last kiss. I pray when I too leave this world our souls do meet. And I shall find relief from this ever-existing grief.


~ Cynthia Lynn

Mom turned 55 a month before her death. Tobacco kills more than 8 million people each year. More than 7 million of those deaths are the result of direct tobacco use while around 1.2 million are the result of non-smokers being exposed to second-hand smoke. Over 80% of the world’s 1.3 billion tobacco users live in low- and middle-income countries. May 27, 2020